I am back baby!!! My battery is recharged, and I am ready to go! Camping was cool. It was nice seeing my family and after getting back in touch with Mother Nature, I am ready to go and I have a new outlook on life….watch out!
While I was camping, I pretended to be a nature guide and teach people about the wild. “Hello, my name is Bryan and I am a professional nature guide, and an amateur tattoo artist,” is the line I kept using. Needless to say no one believed me and they grabbed their kids and ran when they saw me.
My uncle taught me a new line to use when you have to take a poop. He says “I have to go talk to a man about a horse” when he has to go #2. We were all sitting around the camp fire one night, and then out of nowhere, he gets up and says “I have to go talk to a man about a horse” and leaves. He came back 15 minutes later, and I asked him, “Did you really have to talk to a man about a horse?” He said “No, I went poop. My horse came in last.” I immediately fell in love with the saying, and will now use it anytime I have to poo.
On Saturday I played in a mud volleyball tournament. It was freaking awesome! It was seriously one of the most fun times I have ever had. Our team name was “Two Girls, One Stanley Cup”. We tried to pay homage to everyones favorite internet sensation, the two girls and that one cup. We didn’t go all Cinderella like we did for the all night tournament, but it was still a blast running around in the mud the whole day. It was also fun watching one of my teammates slide 75 feet on his stomach on the slip n slide that was at the tournament.
I was driving home on Friday, and I realized that I need to come up with a name for my car. I have tried to use generic names like “The Black Cat” or “The Black Beauty” but those are stupid and unoriginal. I was thinking about that movie “Gone in 60 Seconds” and how they had names for all of the cars that they were going to steal. So I figured I wanted to do something like that, but I thought to myself, why just a first name? Why not a full name, a name of an influential women who changed the world? That is why I will now refer to my car as Nancy Regan. If anyone ever wants a ride in my car, they have to refer to it as Nancy Regan. If not, you can freaking walk!
Well it’s good to be back in the blogosphere, and I am full of new ideas to write about. I just wanted to check in today and insure everyone that I am still alive. I will be back to blogging regularly now, and I am going to blow your minds with knowledge in the upcoming days. On Tuesday, I am going to start a new weekly series called “Tuesday’s with Tuley” where my friend Tuley and I will discuss major issues in the world. This week’s topic will be third world debt and its impact on playing cornhole. Get ready to get your minds F-ed. I leave you today with this great spoof of the Billy Mays product Kaboom. Have a great day and I will speak with you all shortly. One Love!
Clean that shit up!