Day 166: If you don’t want a man to take your goat, don’t show him where it’s at!

Hi.  I got a lot of stuff to touch on today so let’s get right into it!

Today was supposed to be the day that me and a couple of my closest friends make our annual pilgrimage to Pelee Island in Canada.  Pelee is like the “diamond in the rough” of Canada, which I like to refer to as “America’s Hat.”  I don’t know how many of you have ever been to America’s Hat before, but it is kind of a goofy place.  The language, the monopoly money, the constant optimism….sometimes it’s kind of weird.  Pelee is actually the largest island in Lake Erie and the southern most point in America’s Hat.  The island is actually a beautiful place that I have been going to for the past 7 years with my buddies.  We go camping, tubing, wake boarding, play softball, go bar hopping, and drink a lot of Canadian beer, all while eating large quantities of delicious food.  It really is a great time, and it’s nice getting away from everything on an island for a couple of days.  There are only like 100 people that live on the island all year round.  They have one police officer on duty, and you can usually find him at the bar.  The most common form of transportation is setting up folding chairs in the back of a pickup truck.  It’s awesome.  Unfortunately, this year we could not go due to circumstances beyond our control.  Hopefully next year we can return and show those crazy canucks how to party!

"Hello, I am Pelee Island and I am the coolest part of America's Hat!"

"Hello, I am Pelee Island and I am the coolest part of America's Hat!"

I had another crazy dream last night, and this was very vivid and very funny.  The premise of the dream was that Larry King became disgruntled working for CNN and he wanted to fake a war in Parma.

I thought my dream was absurd, but after seeing this picture, Larry King starting a fake war is a very real possibility!

I thought my dream was absurd, but after seeing this picture, Larry King starting a fake war is a very real possibility!

For whatever reason, Larry recruited me and all of my friends to be army members and he supplied all of us with wacky weapons.  My favorite weapon was the rocket launcher that shot 80’s music rockets.  For instance, I remember the one rocket I shot at a fake tank exploded and started playing the song “Jump On It” by the Sugarhill Gang.  And the best part that was when it went off, my friends and I all broke into the dance!  I wish I could have videotaped myself in my sleep because I would bet the little money I have that I was laughing.  The war was all smoke and mirrors and I am almost positive nobody was hurt during my dream.

Last night I decided to take it easy and stay in and watch some crappy television for the evening.  I love how only in America can you watch President Obama talk for an hour about the recession, health care, and racism, and immediately be tuned into Wipeout 5 seconds later.  Following is a clip of the most outrageous Wipeout episode I have ever seen!

“Where’s the pole?!?!?!”  That’s what she said…..literally, that’s what she said.

I digress….I started talking about television because I think my tv is haunted my a Spanish conquistador or something.  The reason I say this is because my tv will randomly go to Spanish subtitles in the middle of me watching something.  It happened last night and I took photographs to prove it.  Warning, these pictures may be too disturbing for some….just kidding.  I am having issues with my online photo album, I feel like an ass.  If I can work things out this afternoon I will post the pictures and put an end to this television haunting story.

I wanna give a happy birthday shout out to k. hrubey.  Shirt bling man, shirt bling.  I will talk to you all soon, One Love!

SELAH

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Day 166: If you don’t want a man to take your goat, don’t show him where it’s at!

  1. Tuley

    The taco bell dog died yesterday at the age of 15. If you’re reading this please join me in a moment of silence.

    That’s right, I will be silent all day so that people can jump in at any point.

  2. El perro de Taco Bell murió ?!?!?! Dicen que no es así, por favor, decir que no es así!

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