Day 178: “…and the apple pie’s, macaroni cheese…..raspberry, WHAT??? ICED TEA!!!” Tuesday’s with Tuley!!!

My buddy Dan over at The Cleveland Sports Animal and the guys at Waiting For Next Year found another hilarious video from Delonte West…..this time it’s a KFC Freestyle rap…..oh my!!!!!!

Delonte never disappoints, thanks for finding that diamond in the rough Dan!  “You best get my doughnuts!!!”

Well here at the Employee of the Month blog, I get a lot of emails from readers all over the world.  I thought today, Tuley and I would take some time to respond to those emails and give back to the fans who have made this blog such a success in such a short period of time.  Lets get into it!

Dear Employee of the Month,

Why does Tony Romo always sport “Starter” apparell?  Does he still think it is 1991?  Jessica – Dallas, TX

Why does Tony Romo still rock Stater gear?  The world may never know.

Why does Tony Romo still rock Stater gear? The world may never know.

B-MOC: That’s actually a great question Jessica from Dallas.  I heard that he had a magenta and teal Charlotte Hornets winter jacket back in the 90’s that he loved so much, that he signed a 56 year deal with Starter worth $12 dollars.

Dear Tuley and Employee of the Month,

I know it is way more painful to get kicked in the balls than to give birth to a child, but why are women so reluctant to admit that?  Bobby – Colt, WV

Tuley: Well Bobby…you know how chicks are.  Once they get their minds set on something they follow it through to the end, including listening to their mothers talk about “how painful it is to give birth to a child.”

B-MOC: I agree with Tuley.  If giving birth was more painful, why would women want to get pregnant and give birth to more than one child, EVER?!?!  You don’t see guys walking around all like “I wanna get married by the time I am 30, and either get kicked in the balls twice, or three times….I can’t decide!!!”  That is a one time deal in a mans life.

Dear B-MOC and Tuley,

What are your thoughts on toe sex?  Garth – Bismarck, ND

B-MOC: A wise man once said “Keyholes are the occasions of more sin and wickedness, than all other holes in this world put together…”, so I would say toe sex is good in my book.  Keyhole sex on the other hand, not so much.

Tuley: A wise man once said “a hole, is a hole, is a hole,” so yeah toe sex is all systems go.

Dear Tuley,

I’m in, what do I do now?  The Jonas Brothers – Hannah, Montanna

Tuley: Well I would suggest finding a good manager and trying not to get all wrapped up in the Hollywood lifestyle of promiscuous sex and doing cocaine.  You are talking about show business right???

"Ya best keep ya head straight kidz..." - Delonte West

"Ya best keep ya head straight kidz..." - Delonte West

Dear Employee of the Month,

My uterus faces backwards, does this mean that my G-spot is in a different place?  Mary Lou – Berlin, Germany

B-MOC: Well that is a trick question Mary Lou from Berlin, Germany!  Everyone knows the uterus does not exist!  Duh!!!!

Dear Tuley and EOTM,

Is it true that women over in the U.S. walk around topless, showing their bare faces everywhere they go?  Hasaam – Dhiot, Iran

Tuley: That’s only in the middle schools.

B-MOC: ….and the retirement homes.

Dear B-MOC,

Tuesdays with Tuley sucks. As a matter of fact, Tuley sucks. I hate him. How can he be eliminated?  Geoff – Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Tuley: I suck?! You’re name is “Jeff”………spelled with a “G.” Go get all liquored up and try driving home, Jee Off!

Dear Tuley and Employee of the Month,

Who would win in a fight between a shark and a lion?  Ryne – Chicago, IL

Tuley: My money is on the lion but who knows. Man has been trying to answer this question for centuries. Obviously the shark would have home field advantage in the ocean and the lion would then be the favorite in the jungle, so I suppose the only way to find the answer to this question is to arrange a fight between the two on a neutral playing surface such as the moon. I go with the lion though, because the shark will only have an advantage in SALT water. Even in fresh water, I believe the lion would win a thrilling and enticing fight. In a swamp, the lion wins. Land, obviously the lion. The moon is the big question mark. I will work on arranging this and will report live from the moon, per my connections with this blog.

B-MOC: In a fair fight I take the lion, but if it’s prison rules, and the shark is a Nazi…I got the shark.

"TOD ZUM LÖWEN!"

"TOD ZUM LÖWEN!"

Well that’s all the emails we had time for this week.  Keep them coming and we will try to get back to you as soon as possible.  See you all later!  One Love!

SELAH

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Day 178: “…and the apple pie’s, macaroni cheese…..raspberry, WHAT??? ICED TEA!!!” Tuesday’s with Tuley!!!

  1. Big Ginger

    Hot sauce in my bag….Hot sauce in my bag….Hot sauce in my bag!!!!

  2. Jim

    A shark wins that fight without question. On the moon, in the water, it doesn’t matter. Can a lion even swim underwater? I don’t think so, thus, the shark can get it from underneath (that’s what she said) and then it’s boom, outta here.

    • Tuley

      no way does a shark win that fight in fresh water. a shark can’t survive in fresh water by itself, let alone with a lion getting after it. I’ll give you salt water, but i’m not willing to negotiate my stance in fresh water. Shallow fresh water at least.

      • Jim

        Have you ever seen a dog try to swim in water?!? And according to animalsswimmingabilities.com, dogs rank No. 1, while lions are a distant No. 33 (out of 34).

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