Day 179: “Breakin necks, and cashing checks!”

What up???  How is everyone today?  Good you say?  Great I say!  This morning me and my best friend (my sister) had the privilege of going to Browns training camp.  I say privilege, but what I really mean is that I am an unemployed A-hole who can go to training camp whenever I want, I just chose to go this morning.  It was a good time, and I made some interesting observations that I haven’t heard any of the local news outlets make.  Let me share a few!

#1.  I have a striking resemblance to the Browns first round pick, offensive linemen, Alex Mack (no not from Nickelodeon).

What if I have really had a job since April when I was drafted in the first round by the Cleveland Browns...but I never realized it???

What if I have really had a job since April when I was drafted in the first round by the Cleveland Browns...but I never realized it???

#2.  I believe the media has been pronouncing first year coach Eric Mangini’s name wrong this entire time.  I really believe it is pronounce Manginey (rhymes with hiney).  I will know refer to him as coach Eric Manginey from here on out.

#3.  Brady Quinn is the most beautiful human being I have ever seen in my life. He was as beautiful as a majestic tree…or a high class prostitute, either or.

#4.  Shaun Rogers jumped offsides in one drill, so he had to run a lap around the field.  4 minutes and 37 seconds later, he finished that lap.  He ran the same way this professional power walker walks, but a lot slower.

#5.  Coach Manginey likes to play music at his practices which I thought was really cool.  However, his song selection was a bit awkward.  Some tracks he played included “Your Body is a Wonderland” by John Mayer, “Barbie Girl” by Aqua, “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips, and “My Neck My Back” by Khia.  Whatever gets the guys pumped up I guess right Manginey?

The parents weren’t too happy with this selection…

Can I just say that the song “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips is the worst song I have ever heard in my life.  Well that’s all I have for this morning.  I just found out that I have to buy a new tire for my car which is going to cost $150.  That’s cool…and by cool I mean I’m going to tell the guy to go fist himself when I pick my car up.  Whatever!  One Love!

SELAH

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Day 179: “Breakin necks, and cashing checks!”

  1. Big Ginger

    That asshole Mangini needs to turn down the music in the morning sessions…I dont need to be woken up in the morning to AC/DC.

  2. You are not “in” the Browns my friend

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