Day 180: “Cross my T’s, try to dot my I’s”

What up raisenettes?!?!?!  Hope everyone is having a good day.  This morning I woke up and got a phone call from a “restricted” number.  I was feeling frisky at this particular moment, so I decided to answer it.  Well it sounded like Death was on the other line, as a man with the deepest, most intimidating voice I have ever heard began to talk.  But it was a good phone call, as apparently I am being considered for the next phase of the police officer interview process which is the polygraph test, and it was this gentleman’s job to schedule it for me.  We scheduled it for Monday morning at 7:15 am.  Well we didn’t really schedule anything…he basically gave me a bunch of “mission impossible-esqe” instructions telling me to park 5 blocks away and walk to the building, not tell anyone where I was going, to walk into dark rooms and say the word “whiskey” and to wait for further instructions, and finally he told me to wear lipstick…so God only knows what’s going to happen.

None of that last part is actually true, but this guy on the other line was quite demanding, and I am going to be a little nervous if that is the same guy who gives me the actual polygraph test.

"Hello B-MOC.  Would you rather read poetry or masturbate???  YOU LIE, WHY WOULDN'T YOU ADMIT YOU WOULD RATHER READ POETRY?!?!?!"

"Hello B-MOC. Would you rather read poetry or masturbate??? YOU LIE, WHY WOULDN'T YOU ADMIT YOU WOULD RATHER READ POETRY?!?!?!"

I guess I better buy a bunch of Cosmo’s or something to prepare myself for the types of questions I might get asked.  I guess if I get too nervous I can just picture the Employee of the Month blog and the picture of the goofy executioner above and that will make me feel better.

Apparently the Indians are looking to move Kerry Wood here in the next few days.  It makes sense considering he is making 10 million dollars a year and the main reason we picked him up was because we thought we would be making a run at the World Series this year.  “WELL THAT DIDN’T WORK!!!” Honestly though, who cares.

"Today's post game show is brought to you by..........Christ I can't find it.  To hell with it!"

"Today's post game show is brought to you by..........Christ I can't find it. To hell with it!"

Well that’s all for now.  I will talk to you all later.  One Love!

SELAH

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1 Comment

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One response to “Day 180: “Cross my T’s, try to dot my I’s”

  1. Dan

    I read an article the other day with an interview with Paul Dolan that said the Indians are losing like $16 million this season, so getting rid of Kerry Wood could help in that regard. He could probably be an impactful closer if he had more opportunities rather than pitching once a week, but since the Indians suck ass that hasn’t happened.

    The Dolan’s should hire Michael Crabtree’s advisor.

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