Day 186: “When I was 24 years old…everyone wanted a piece of my s!@#.” – Kenny Powers

Yo yo yo yo yo!  What’s going on?  It’s been a busy 24 hours as I found out I have to go take another polygraph test next Thursday and I have to get my fingerprints taken this Friday.  Another local police station called yesterday and wants to interview me in the near future, but I have to do all of this other stuff first.  Hopefully one of these jobs falls through because I seriously feel like I am getting mentally drained trying to remember all of my “appointments” and where exactly I need to go.  Moving on….

Lately I have been hearing the words “fire sale” a lot lately.  I know it is when someone or some organization sells all of their crap at an extreme discount.  The most recent example would be with the Cleveland Indians getting rid of all of their good players for practically nothing.  They had a “fire sale”.  Well I figured, in these tought economic times, I would do the same thing with my stuff.  The following items are for sale, and all bids begin at $1,000,000.  That’s a million dollars for all of you without calculators.  As Bob Barker would say…”the first item up for bid is…..”

....MY HIGHSCHOOL GRADUATION GOWN!!!

....MY HIGHSCHOOL GRADUATION GOWN!!!

I don’t know where the shoe strings or sashes they give you with this thing, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I wore this thing for a total of 2 hours.  It’s the perfect gift for someone who dresses up as a judge every single Halloween!

Next we have…..

...THIS CREEPY PICTURE OF A CAT AND A MOUSE THAT IS HANGING UP IN MY ROOM!!!

...THIS CREEPY PICTURE OF A CAT AND A MOUSE THAT IS HANGING UP IN MY ROOM!!!

Nothing says sweet dreams like a picture of a cat burning a hole through your soul with a rodent sitting on top of his head.

If paintings aren’t your thing, then maybe….

...MY OLD HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL JERSEY IS!!!

...MY OLD HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL JERSEY IS!!!

If there was ever a high school football hall of fame, I wouldn’t be allowed to go near it, but who doesn’t love the red, white, and blue colors?  COMMUNISTS!!!  THAT’S WHO!!!  BUY IT!!!

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!!!

jawsIf you buy the high school football jersey, I will include my old high school mouthpiece at no extra charge!

Next item we have up for bid is…

....THE SOUNDTRACK TO THE MOVIE ARMAGEDDON!!!

....THE SOUNDTRACK TO THE MOVIE ARMAGEDDON!!!

“….I don’t wanna close my eyes, I don’t wanna fall asleep…” but I will sell the crap out of this cd if the price is right.  I looked up this cd on amazon.com the other day and it was going for $2 mil.  I don’t know how I make money off of this stuff.

And next we have….

.....MY COLLEGE LETTERMANS JACKET!!!

.....MY COLLEGE LETTERMANS JACKET!!!

Didn’t go to a college that had purple colors?  Who cares?!?!   Didn’t play football?  No problem!!!  Didn’t know that colleges even had lettermans jackets?  Me either!  But you can kill all of those birds with one stone when you purchase this jacket.  And by one stone I mean a check for at least $1 million dollars.

It’s hard parting ways with the things you have grown close to and have learned to love over the years, especially for these rock bottom prices.  Screw Ebay, if you want to buy one of these just leave a comment or shoot me an email.  Also shipping and handling is 100 bucks for all of these items, and you can’t come and pick them up.

I am going to Browns training camp again this afternoon.  I may make a post with some further observations sometime this afternoon.  I will make a prediction that Phil Dawson still looks like a hobbit.  I’ll keep you posted with my finding.  One Love!

SELAH

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Day 186: “When I was 24 years old…everyone wanted a piece of my s!@#.” – Kenny Powers

  1. Josh

    If you can locate your “big country” Reeves jersey i am willing to offer upwards of 2 mill for it.

  2. I have been looking for that jersey for 12 years man……it’s gotta be around here somewhere.

  3. Rick Pitino

    I’m willing to pay $3,000 for an abortion.

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