Day 200: Wow…..day 200 huh???

200 days ago was a long time ago.  200 days ago, gas cost $6 a gallon, and a loaf of bread was .15 cents.  Titantic was the #1 movie in America, and the nation was in love with someone named Tom Brokaw.  200 days ago it was a Friday, it was really cold, and the Steelers had just won the Super Bowl a few days before.  200 days ago I lived in a room that wasn’t covered with hearts and teddy bears, and this juggernaut of a website was just a twinkle in my eye.  200 days ago I had a job.  A wise man once said “what a difference 200 days can make.”  How about that???  What can you do?!?!?!

Anyway, what’s going on?!?!?!  I am really sorry for such a late post today, but it is what it is.  Anyway, I have been getting kind of nervous the last couple of days because I have been seeing all of these articles about how hot dogs cause cancer now all of a sudden.  The reason I am worried, is because on July 4th, 2005, I ate 19 hot dogs at a Cleveland Indians game.  You see, it was dollar dog night (which at the time was the first one of it’s kind I believe) and all of my friends and I “needed to get a piece of that” as the kids say.  The Indians had a double header on the 4th, one thing led to another, and next thing I know, 19 hot dogs are down, and I feel like putting a bullet in my head because that was the worst stomach pain I have ever had in my life.

I take some pride in being able to say I am one of the only people I know who can say "I feel your pain Kobayashi....I feel your pain..."

I take some pride in being able to say I am one of the only people I know who can say "I feel your pain Kobayashi....I feel your pain..."

At one point at the beginning of the second game, I proceeded to order 13 hot dogs at one time.  Now, if you weren’t at the games you can’t understand how crazy everyone was going over these $1 hot dogs.  A h0t dog vendor would come out of some hot dog cubby hole in the stadium, and 5 minutes later he would need to head back in to refill.  So some clever Tribe fans found one of these cubby holes and were basically able to corner the vendors right as they came out.  Eventually there were long lines that would form outside of these “hot dog hideouts” as they became known to the patrons that day.  I happened to get into one of these lines, and sure enough, a vendor walked out right away.  Immediately people are ordering 2, 3, 5 hot dogs at a time.  When it was my turn in line, I said to the vendor “Hello Sir, I would like to purchase 13 hot dogs.”  The vendor then threw up in his mouth a little bit, opened his bag, and handed me his last 13 hot dogs.  Well the people at the back of the line were not impressed with this order.  People were so pissed that I shut down that vendor that they started calling me “asshole” and I swear a little kid threw a bobblehead at me!  This story is as true as this blog is awesome.

But anyway, I guess what I was trying to say is that it would suck if it is really true that hot dogs cause cancer…..because I ate 19 of them in a matter of hours, and even though I will never do that again, I still enjoy a tasty dog every once in a while (no Michael Vick pun intended).

A 5 year old girl yelled this same exact quote at me while I walked away with my hot dogs.

A 5 year old girl yelled this same exact quote at me while I walked away with my hot dogs.

I have recently fallen back in love with golf.  I am not entirely sure why because I am God awful, but I think the main reason is because it gives me a chance to get out of the house, spend some time outside, and it’s really really peaceful.  My game is better than it once was, but the other day I came up with a really great golf joke all on my own and I want to drop that knowledge on all of you EOTM blog followers out there.  Are you ready?  Here it goes!

What does the alcoholic golfer who can’t find what hole he starts on say?

Where’s the par tee at???

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Get it?!?!  Par is a type of golf score, and a tee is what a golfer puts his ball on.  A par tee is meant to sound like party, which is where everyone gets wild!  Where’s the par tee at??? He is an alcoholic who is drunk, wants to keep golfing AND partying, and doesn’t know where to go!

The baby gets it!!!

Whoever created this hat is getting sued by yours truly for copyright infringement!  "You've been lawyered!"

Whoever created this hat is getting sued by yours truly for copyright infringement! "You've been lawyered!"

Speaking of ideas, I am thinking about trying to become a train watcher.  I see these people all of the time whenever I drive around Berea, and I don’t know exactly what they do, but I want in!  It’s like some secret club and I want to find out what it’s all about.  I’ll keep you posted about that….

Well that’s all I got for today.  Wednesday’s with Wyar didn’t come to fruition obviously, but I’ll be back on schedule tomorrow morning with another post.  One Love!

SELAH

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