Day 201: “Listen up refrigerators….here’s whats cool!” haha

Hi.  Jim Rome is broadcasting live from Cleveland today, it’s pretty cool listening to him praise C-Town so much.  Rome is probably the greatest sports radio host of all time, one of the funniest on air personalities today, and I have become a huge fan of his over the years.  Just a little FYI.

....he also enjoys Glamour Shots which I respect a lot....

....he also enjoys Glamour Shots which I respect a lot....

Today I would like to install another edition of “Go Fist Yourself”.  Today, all of the “Lance Armstrong-esque” bike riders in the park can go fist themselves.  I am sure you have all seen them.  You know, the guys who think that one day they might be able to participate in the Tour de France because they have a 10 speed, some spandex, and have read Lance Armstrong’s autobiography.  These are the same people that completely disregard the beautiful bike paths that the Metroparks have placed all throughout the state of Ohio, just because “Lance rides in the streets!”

Watch out for that car.......then GO FIST YOURSELF!!!

Watch out for that car.......then GO FIST YOURSELF!!!

True story…..I once was on my way home from work and while turning onto my street, I saw a lady backing out of her driveway.  I stopped to allow her to back out, when over the hill came Lance Armstrong on his bike.  I am just kidding, it wasn’t Lance Armstrong, it was a giant doucher who was dressed like Lance riding his bike obnoxiously far from the curb.  Well the lady was unable to see this rider as he was in her blind spot, and she continued to pull out.  The biker, feeling threatened, hopped off his bike and started yelling profanities at the lady.  I am not sure exactly what he said, but I am sure that I watched him punch off her side view mirror with his fist, and then look her in the eye through her window and say “I WILL F-ING KILL YOU!!!!”  He then flipped her off, hopped back on his bike, and took off riding.  The lady was very distraught and called the cops.  I parked my car and tried to help her calm down.  The cops came and I had to fill out a police report, and that guy was never caught.  He can go fist himself….I will never forget watching him overreact like that.  Go fist yourself big time man!

This would be my dream job working as a cop.

This would be my dream job working as a cop.

These wannabe Lance Armstrong guys are pretty prevalent not only in biking, but a lot of other things in this world.  It’s the same with softball guy who I have referenced several times on this blog.  You are not playing major league baseball, and you never will.  It’s the same with all of the “actresses” you meet or see on telelvision. You are an actress huh?  What movies or tv shows have you been in?  None?  Oh OK.   It’s the same with all of the “models” you meet.  You are a model huh?  Oh what’s that?  Someone took a picture of you one time?  I am a model too then.  For all of those people out there, I have one thing to say to you.  Sticking feathers up your ass does not make you a chicken.  You can go fist yourself too!

"DERRRRR I'MA CHICKEN!!! DERRRRRRR"

"DERRRRR I'MA CHICKEN!!! DERRRRRRR"

I want to thank everyone for their overwhelming support for my Where’s the par tee at? joke that I dropped yesterday.  Someone told me that they laughed so hard they literally shit their pants, so I guess that’s good.  I will keep trying to come up with some new ones for you guys.

The job hunt has been particularly slow recently.  I have gone through my polygraph tests and now all I can do is sit and wait until I hear something which kind of sucks.  It’s nerve racking and I sometimes wish I could just push time forward, but that isn’t possible since my flux capacitor is currently on the fritz.  Thank God I have this blog!

Last night I was watching the HBO series “Hard Knocks” which is following the Cincinnati Bengals through their training camp.  Chad Ochocinco was being interviewed and revealed that he is coming out with his own line of condoms.  He said they will be called “Ochocinco Condoms” and “will catch anything your Johnson throws at it.”  I think this is a big play on words since his last name used to be Johnson, he plays wide receiver and has to catch whatever is thrown at him, and condoms catch loads.  I thought it was funny and I know Tuley will get a laugh out of it so I thought I’d share it.  Now we can wait for Ochocinco to come to Cleveland and get knocked out like he does every season.

Next up for Chad is the "Ochocinco Smelling Salts".  I hear the new slogan will be "They'll wake you up when you get knocked the F!@# out!!!"  Former Brown Brian Rusell is not impressed.

Next up for Chad is the "Ochocinco Smelling Salts". I hear the new slogan will be "They'll wake you up when you get knocked the F!@# out!!!" Former Brown Brian Rusell is not impressed.

If you haven’t been able to tell recently, I CANNOT WAIT for football to start.  Alright that’s all for now.  I will catch you all later.  One Love!

SELAH

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1 Comment

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One response to “Day 201: “Listen up refrigerators….here’s whats cool!” haha

  1. Tuley

    Awesome post today, B-MOC. I must be really predictable because as I was reading the part about Ochocinco Condoms, I was thinking how creative, hilarious, and awesome that is. And then you called your shot. Reminds me of my favortie pick-up line that -no names please- I heard one time: My name may not be Ervin but you know my Johnson’s Magic!

    Let’s go hunt down some Lance’s this weekend!

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