Day 208: When I die, I want Kanye West to produce an album about my life, and call it, “Bryan: History”.

“Bryan: History”…..it’s gonna be like a description of my life….my history, but it will also be his story.  Oh man, it’s gonna be big (that’s what she said)!  I’m sure Kanye will do great things.

Today I would like to do another installment of “The Most Underrated Movie Roles of All Time.”  Today we will focus on Samuel L. Jackson’s  role in the movie Deep Blue Sea.  If you haven’t seen this crap movie, it’s basically about some sharks that have Einstein’s brain put in them or something, so they get really smart and can do expert Sudoku puzzle’s and open door’s and shit like that.  Well Samuel L. Jackson is the leader of the scientific group that has been f-ing with these sharks and they get pissed and start trying to eat everybody.  This was before “Snakes On A Plane” so SLJ was still a pretty cool actor, and I heard he got paid $50 million to be in this movie for like 20 minutes before he gets owned by a shark.  I don’t know if that is true or not, but I remember being totally shocked when he dies so early in the movie.  Deep Blue Sea is like a cross between Jaws, Good Will Hunting, Dodgeball, and March of the Penguins in my personal opinion.  Below is the best scene in cinematic history…..

For those of you who can’t watch at work, here is a summary of what you missed…….

"I say if we stick together we can beat thes.....WAARRHAHARHAGGGAARHAHHR......dead." - Samuel L. Jackson

"I say if we stick together we can beat thes.....WAARRHAHARHAGGGAARHAHHR......dead." - Samuel L. Jackson

Hahahahaha!  Oh man it still gets me every time!  It would have been great if right before hand he was like “get these mother f-ing sharks out of my mother f-ing ocean!” or something along those lines.  I came up with a movie idea once that I thought would be perfect for Samuel L. Jackson.  I wanted to make a live action picture about Mickey Mouse and have him play Mickey.  It would be called “Walt Disney is Frozen, Now What?” and it would be kind of like the Wizard of Oz meets Schindler’s List and it would follow Mickey and his friends on their journey to figure out what to do with their lives.  It would be a coming of age tale and I figured I could get Oprah to play Minnie Mouse, Michael Vick to play Goofy, and John C. Reily to play Donald Duck.  I think I might be on to something here.

"Walt Disney is frozen......now what?  I say we get these mother f-ing scumbags off this mother f-ing planet!" - Sameul L. Jackson in "Walt Disney is Frozen, Now What?"

"Walt Disney is frozen......now what? I say we get these mother f-ing scumbags off this mother f-ing planet!" - Sameul L. Jackson in "Walt Disney is Frozen, Now What?"

In other news, the college football season kicks off tonight, and you better believe I will be betting on Cent Sports on every game from here on out.  If you are unfamiliar with the site, you get 10 cents for free from the site, and you keep betting on games and winning, and once you get to $20 in winnings, you can cash out at anytime and the website will send you a check for your amount.  I know it sounds stupid, but know that there are people who have cashed out with thousands of dollars, I am not included in that list, but I was up to like 8 dollars last college football season.  LET THE GAMES BEGIN BABY!!!

"In my day 10 cents was a fortune!  Chaps could drink suds for a year with 10 cents!  Truman was in the White House and this country was going places ya hear me?  War bonds were selling like hot cakes and Hitler was about as sharp as a potato salad.  You hear me?!?!?!"

"In my day 10 cents was a fortune! Chaps could drink suds for a year with 10 cents! Truman was in the White House and this country was going places ya hear me? War bonds were selling like hot cakes and Hitler was about as sharp as a potato salad. Ya hear me?!?!?!"

I figure one day soon I can retire with the millions I will be making off of the EOTM blog and the money I make by betting pennies at a time can just be my “walking around” money.  Oh boy I can’t wait!  Well that’s all I got for now.  I am gonna go lay in my front yard and look at the clouds for a while and see if I can’t see some boobs or something.  I will see you on the flip side.  One Love!

SELAH

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1 Comment

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One response to “Day 208: When I die, I want Kanye West to produce an album about my life, and call it, “Bryan: History”.

  1. Tuley

    My old boss at the D was up to $77 on cent sports and they wouldn’t let him cash out. They told him he had to get on a waiting list and they didn’t know when they’d be able to pay him. Sorry to rain on your parade.

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