Today I applied for a job with the American Red Cross as a “Blood Drive Supervisor”. My main job would be to supervise the blood drives, and hand out band aids in case people start bleeding profusely….
Blood doesn’t really bother me, and by doesn’t really bother me I mean I pass out at the site of it, so we’ll see how this one goes. Some of the perks of the job are free t-shirts and cookies and punch. Besides the blood, one of the downsides of the job is having to fight off vampires….because they are so hot right now.
I don’t know why everyone is so into vampires these days. First off they are stupid, and second off there are so much better fictional monsters….such as zombies, or nazi zombies. This whole phenomena will be just like how superhero movies were a couple of years ago. Spiderman came out and everyone went bat shit crazy, so then we started to see movies like Daredevil with Ben Aflleck, and the Fantastic Four with that stellar cast of Jessica Alba and that’s it. These movies all sucked ass, but every once in a while a good one comes along, like the previously mentioned Spiderman or the new Batman movies or the X-Men movies, so the studios keep making this crap and it makes me mad. The same will be true with this vampire thing. It will move onto werewolves, unicorns, and finally nazi zombies. There is already a “Wolfman” movie in production, a live action “My Litlle Pony” flick in the works, and nazi zombies are already on the map!
One of my former co-workers emailed me yesterday and informed me that the Lietenant I interviewed with back in July, you know, the interview that made me shave and cut my hair, was going into my former place of employment to interview my former co-workers and former supervisors. Needless to say I got pretty excited to hear about that, I hope they just don’t bring up the fact that I used to smoke PCP in the bathroom while I was on the job. They said they were cool, I hope they don’t have to get cut. I keed, I keed!
I wonder if they are going to take him on a tour of my 5′ x 5′ jail cell/cubicle. I just picture like 5 people trying to cram into the 12 inch door way I had being like “That is the stack of old phone books that B-MOC sat on, and that is the 1983 type writer he typed on, and right there is the phone where he made obscene phone calls all day long.” I keed, I keed! But on a serious note, I would feel kind of intimidated if a local police department was coming into my place of work to interview me about a former co-worker of mine. I hope these guys don’t crap the bed and start freaking out and running around the office screaming. That happened on several occasions while I worked there. I keed, I keed!
Alright, I’m out. One Love!