I want to apologize to everyone for not posting anything the last few days. My computer has swine flue and is in the shop. I kept joking around about that pig virus, and wouldn’t you know it hit home and it hit home hard. You see what had happened was I was in the middle of writing a post on Wednesday and it was a good one. My sister turned 16 on Wednesday and I was reminiscing about my 16th b-day and how instead of getting a car, I got my testicles ritualisticly shaved by a prostitute named Oksana Zoja Eliketsiva from Belarus. Well I was literally 5 minutes away from finishing the post when my computer went bat shit crazy and crashed. Like I said it is in the shop, but apparently the computer guy takes a little while to do whatever it is that he does (acid). I swear as soon as I get it back I will be back to posting every day so keep checking in. Believe me, I have been going crazy not being able to write anything and I guarantee I miss the blog more than any of you.
I am currently writing this post at the Cuyahoga County Library and have considered doing this on a regular basis. And then, I remembered how Mike Cooper was caught masturbating at this same library and I don’t want to sit in his jizz soaked chair so that is out of the question. My favorite part about that whole dibacle was how Carl Monday asked Mike what he looked at on the internet and he answered sport scores, and then Carl Monday fires back….”Sports scores…….AND PORN?!?!?!?!” Hahaha! Anyway, I miss all of you very much and I hope you all are well. Also, Kyle D from Athens…..I appreciate your comments and I hope your pursuit of a degree in Proof Reading is going well…………..sarcasm. I leave you for now, with a poem about my retarded cats that go in and out of the house non stop all day long. Letting them in and out is the only thing I have look forward to now that the EOTM is down for a little while.
Cat carousel spins round and round.
Those felines are shit heads, who will put me in the ground.
In and out, in and out, make up your mind.
I sit here pissed off while the computer has swine.
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish,
When you are inside, all you want is food in your dish.
Why don’t you two grow a set of thumbs?
You can open doors, shave, and even shoot guns.
I know that you are cats and wont read this blog,
But if its not you two, its the f-ing dog.
You pets punk me all the time, just like Aston Kutcher,
You don’t even realize, your cousins in China are headed to the butcher.
I stand here today pleading for you to stop.
I don’t want to lose my mind before I become a cop.
You stare me in the eyes as you lick your rears,
Please help me out, your bringing me to tears.
That all for now, time to go back into hiding,
I have to let my cats in, they are destroying the siding.
Please check back regularly as I should be back real soon,
I know not what to do with my afternoon.
I must admit I feel like a wussy
Not having my blog makes me feel like a dummy.