Day 254: “Dad always thought that laughter was the best medicine….which I guess may be the reason several of us died from tuberculosis.”

Hello again!  How is everybody doing today?  I hope everyone had a good weekend.  Mine was a lot of fun.  As I mentioned on Friday, I attended the Big Ginger’s brothers wedding on Saturday and it was a good time.  Everything was really nice considering it was planned by gingers.  The Big Ginger had to give a big speech which I thought he did a good job on.  I was going to break down the speech and analyze it line by line for todays blog post, but when I went back and watched the video, I realized I didn’t understand a word that guy said.  You know when people get so nervous and they practically swallow the microphone it is so close to their face, and you can’t understand what they are saying?  Well that is how the entire best man speech was.  I did understand one line and it was “I remember when we were kids and we liked playing riding bikes.”  God only knows what the hell that means, but I think he actually mentioned something about how his brother and him played in traffic right after that.  All in all it was a good wedding and everyone had a really good time.

I gave the bride and groom a card with some money in it for their wedding gift.  That is pretty much par for the course as far as my typical wedding gift, but I always have a lot of fun picking out the card.  You see, I don’t go to the card store and sit there and read all of sappy wedding cards.  You know the ones with the stupid cursive writing and like some sort of crappy poem stuff on it.  I like to pick out a card that is creative and will stand out to whoever reads it, and most of the time that kind of card comes from the kids birthday section or the holiday section.  For instance, for this particular wedding I went with your typical holographic Halloween card that said “I bet your Halloween will be grand…….I can feel it in my bones” and I ended up taking a marker and crossing out Halloween and replaced it with the word wedding, so it ended up making perfect sense.  The coolest part was the holographic dancing skeleton on the inside of the card.  I think I had to pay extra for that so hopefully they hold onto that card for a little while, at least until Halloween is over.  I think people giving cards to each other is kind of stupid.  I mean, I don’t think people really cherish a card and that is perfectly understandable.  It’s a folded piece of paper with some saying or deep thought on it, and it usually gets tossed immediately.  That is why I am thinking about never having to buy a card again and just keeping every card I ever get from here on out to reuse for other occasions.  Just think, you could be having a birthday coming up soon, and you see you got a card from B-MOC in the mail.  You quickly open it up to find it’s a birthday card!  Granted, it is a birthday card that was originially sent to me, and I crossed out my name and put yours on it.  Don’t be bitter though, it’s the thought that counts.  I figured out the math and I will save millions of dollars by not having to buy another card in my life.

If you follow the blog on a regular basis, then you know that I occasionally like to come up with “get rich quick” schemes.  I have been thinking about a new one, and I don’t know what the US adoption policies are like exactly, but it could theoretically be fool proof.  I am going to adopt a young African American female from a third world country in Africa, and teach her how to race NASCAR.  That sport is dying for a young up and coming women to take over the sport, kind of like Danica Patrick is doing in Indy Car.  My daughter could be just like Tiger Woods but in NASCAR.  I mean look at how good his dad did riding Tiger’s coat tails all the way to the top.  Why can’t I do that?  Like I said before I don’t know how adoption laws are structured, but I don’t see why I can’t adopt a girl before this upcoming Christmas and get the ball rolling on getting paid!

"Excuse me sweetheart....would you like to get me paid by driving 180 mph in a circle???"

"Excuse me sweetheart....would you like to get me paid by driving 180 mph in a circle???"

Alright well that’s all for today.  Make sure you tune in tomorrow as Tuesdays with Tuley makes its return after a few weeks off.  I leave you with a haiku, have a good day!

Playing riding bikes,
broken English is the best.
Ginger weddings rule.

One Love!

SELAH

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