Day 257: Sometimes I black out in my thugery…..

Hey I’m back and I have had a long day.  So here is what happened.  Yesterday afternoon I got a call from a Sergeant at one of the local police departments I applied with all the way back in May.  He wanted me to come in for a meeting today at 11.  So today I woke up and got ready and headed in to the justice center of this particular city and met with this guy.  He basically told me that I am going through the background check process of the hiring now which is a good sign.  Apparently this city is looking to hire 4 police officers by the end of the year, which surprisingly is only two months away.  I am about 12th or 13th on a list of potential candidates, and I was told that I should hear more in about a month or so.

All of this was very good news, but I am very frustrated because I have to turn in paperwork and copies of transcripts/birth certificates/identification/etc. which I already did back when I applied to take the civil service test back in May.  I swear to God, I literally did all of this 5 months ago, and now I have to do it all again, including fill out the 40 page personal history questionnaire.  I am not upset or anything, but driving back home from the meeting today I was just wondering to myself how this whole process works.  I mean, literally 5 months ago I had to get all of the same certified copies, and notorized paperwork signed, and have transcripts forwarded to the proper personnel, and now I have to do it all over again?!?!?!  In May, I watched the Secretary of the Civil Service Commission sign off on all of this paperwork that I spent days accumulating.  She gave her stamp of approval that everything I was required to bring back was legitimate and authentic.  But now that is all getting tossed to the way side, so needless to say I spent the rest of the afternoon having to go back and get the ball rolling on all of this stuff again.  Like I said, things are actually looking really good for me in the near future, I just had a long day and am frustrated.  One of these times, I am going to get a call from a detective or lieutenant or sergeant and just be like “Hey man…..all I really want is to get paid to carry a gun so if we can somehow arrange that, that would be great.”  Haha, I keed, I keed.  I have a feeling that this will all pay off soon…hopefully in the next several weeks.

In other news, I found out that I am going to be a father.  That’s right, a father of approximately 400 baby praying manti (mantises?). I didn’t really want to bring up the fact that I have been taking care of a praying mantis since Labor Day weekend because I thought it was illegal.  But apparently it isn’t illegal to keep a praying mantis as long as you name it and feed it and stuff.  I named my Sven, but after watching it crap out a giant egg sack for about 4 hours yesterday, it appears that Sven is actually a Svendolyn.  Oh snap!  I just realized I could name her Svenith Paltrow!  Like the actress!  HAHAHAHAHA!

I had to watch THIS for 4 hours yesterday.  I guess that's what they call an unemployed man's entertainment.

I had to watch THIS for 4 hours yesterday. I guess that's what they call an unemployed man's entertainment.

Needless to say I started freaking out because I didn’t know what was going on.  So I did what any concerned parent to be would do, and I went to Google.  I found out that this is the ideal time of year that praying manti (mantises again?) lay eggs, and that it is possible that they may not hatch until the spring time.  “That is ok” I thought to myself…..until I watched a video of one of these egg sacks hatching on YouTube, and I realized that I am going to have about 1000 little praying mantis bastards on my hands very shortly.

Please note, I did not add the Beatles song to the above video.  I will add this though….



It’s gonna be gross when those things hatch, but you better believe I will blog about it immediately.  In fact, I may do my first ever live blog with a video feed on that special day.  I was researching online, and I guess I can sell the eggs.  People who have organic gardens who don’t like to use pesticides will use praying manti (mantises?) to eat the bugs in their garden.  I’m thinking this could be my big $$$ maker.  I am not an expert but I think 1 large should be a good asking price.  For all of you non-bloggers out there, that is $1,000.

Alright well that’s all for today.  Tomorrow is Friday so that is exciting.  I will see you all then.  A haiku….One Love!

Praying mantis eggs,
scrambled or sunny side up?
I’m a father, YAY!!!


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