Hey hey hey! I hope everyone had a good weekend and is having a good start to their week. I also want to wish everyone a very happy MOVEMBER!!!
Movember is the month formerly known as November, and it is also prostate cancer awareness month. Prostate cancer is to men as breast cancer is to women, but apparently it is worse because there is a lot that doctors and researchers still don’t know about it or how to treat it. Well Movember is a way to raise awareness for prostate cancer by growing a mustache during the entire month. This is my third year participating and it has quickly become one of my favorite times of year. The rules are simple…the last day you can shave your “mo” is October 31st, then you grow it out the whole month, and can choose to shave it on December 1st. Last year, I opted to continue growing it into December, but that is entirely your decision. When my friend Dan from Ypsilanti (he runs the Cleveland Sports Animal blog you see linked on the right side of this page) isn’t running a shady fantasy football league, he also likes to take part in Movember. This year, I kind of got a head start because I haven’t shaved for the last several days, but I feel like this year will be my best Movember to date because I had that whole homeless bum look going on over the summer and I feel like my face has been in training for a little while.
The best was at my old job I would take part in Movember and like 3 weeks into it, I got some really interesting looks from my mostly female co-workers. Mustaches aren’t as culturally accepted as they were several decades ago, which I think is wrong. That’s why I want to talk to you all about mustachism….the hateful treatment of mustaches. I’m kidding, that doesn’t exist. Anyway, I encourage both men and women everywhere to take part in this years Movember. In case you can’t decide on what kind of mo you want to grow, I have provided you with a mustache diagram.
As you all know Halloween was over the weekend, and as all of you also know, Chipotle is the greatest fast food place in the world. Well every Halloween, they run a promotion where if you dress up as a burrito, you get a free burrito. I believe they call it “boo-rito” or something like that.
Well my friend Harrell and I decided to take part in this burrito give away……..FOUR TIMES! You see, all you had to do was have foil somewhere on your body, and you could get any kind of burrito you wanted. So as we were sitting and eating our first burrito, Harrell in his foil yamaka, and I in my foil viking helmet, we decided that we needed more and we came up with an efficient plan of action that would take us to 3 more Chipotles in less than an hour. It was really quite a lot of fun! We kind of teamed up with some other people along the way who had the same idea we did, and it was like we were traveling in foil herds from glorious Chipotle to glorious Chipotle. I only ate one, but I have the others strategically hidden throughout my house like my house is going to get raided for burritos and I don’t want to get busted. I am actually eating one as I am typing this and I have never been happier. One thing I noticed while I was on my Chipotle free burrito adventure is that Emo kids LOVE Chipotle. They were at every restaurant sulking about getting a free burrito and it was funny and infuriating at the same time. Those Emo kids are pretty silly if you ask me, but there is something about watching one get depressed about what toppings to get on their burrito that really pisses me off. Like, one of the Chipotle workers would be like “Hey what kind of salsa would you like?” and the Emo kid would be like “I don’t feel like I even deserve salsa and no one even cares about it….” and I just wanted to drop kick him in the face. They were all like “I want black beans on my burrito because black is the color of my heart and all of my emotions,” and again I wanted to stick their face in that burrito steam press thing they have at the front of the line. Oh boy….I don’t know about those Emo kids….they can definitely go fist themselves, HARD!
Alright folks, that’s all for today! I leave you with a haiku…
Start your mo’s fellas!
Chipotle hates Emo kids.