Day 272: Sperm whales make great seamen.

Scott_Player_Mustache___for_blog

I AM THE WARRIOR!!!

Happy Friday!  It’s a beautiful Movember day today, so make sure you get outside and plant a tree or something along those lines.  If you recall one of my blog posts from last week, I told you guys about how I received an inappropriate  voicemail from a “message relay” service and how the unknown individual who sent the message wanted me to “put sex on their face.”  Well wouldn’t you know it, the “inappropriate prankster” as I will refer to them from now on, struck again yesterday afternoon.  Now ever since my blog post last week, I have received a few calls from the inappropriate prankster, however they have been progressively getting more and more vulgar.  Like the message yesterday, parts of it were so sexual in nature and so NC-17 that the operator had to spell certain things out because he didn’t know what they were.  As he was leaving the voicemail he was like “…..and then I want you to take your s-m-e-g-m-a and smear it on my face…” and I could not believe what I was hearing.  But God bless those operators.  They are the most professional human beings I have ever met in my entire life!  I mean I have had like 5 different ones call and leave an inappropriate and disugsting message on my phone the last several days, and every single one was as poised and collected as a brain surgeon.  I salute you inappropriate prankster message relay operator!

".....and then I want you to put sex on my face B-MOC.  End of message, have a nice day!" - Inappropriate prankster message relay operator.

"....and last but not least, I want you to put sex on my face. End of message, have a nice day!" - inappropriate prankster message relay operator

In other news, it looks like I should have a large sum of money headed my way after I sue this guy and his dog for stealing the routine that my best friend Lyla and I have been working on for a long time.  Originality just doesn’t exist in today’s society anymore.  I swear her and I practice this routine every morning for at least 45 minutes.

And lastly, I would like to extend a big “go fist yourself” to the people at Facebook.  I am not a big fan of their newest application, or my mom, as people around here refer to her.  Now instead of going onto Facebook to not care what everyone else is doing, I can just wait for my mom to get home from work and tell me all about it!  It is not clear whether or not this application will be available for the iphone, but stay tuned.  Thank you for getting her addicted Facebook, and go fist yourself!  You guys can help pay for the intervention that I am planning, and just in time for the holidays HOORAY!!! My favorite was last weekend when my mom asked me what I did the night before, so I told her.  Then she was like “I already knew, someone talked about it on Facebook.”  Are you kidding me, then why did you ask?!?!  Whatever, “like time through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives.”

Alright I’m done for the week.  Everyone have a good weekend, and think about this haiku I am about to drop on all of you…

Mom is addicted.
Inappropriate prankster,
Has struck once again.

One Love!

SELAH

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