What up?!?!?! I figured you guys could start your day with some Bert and Ernie gangsta rap. I don’t know why, but those muppet singing videos kill me every single time! Kudos to the people who make them, because it really looks like they are singing the songs and I love it!
Tonight the Cavs take on the Orlando Magic in a rematch of last years Eastern Conference finals. Everyone is excited to see Shaq (aka Superman) take on Dwight Howard (aka Superman). I can’t wait to hear all of the corny kryptonite references made tonight. Fred McLeod will all be like “Well Shaq’s age is definitely one of his only…….kryptonites.” Then AC will be like “I smoked kryptonite in my day after I karate chopped a guy coming down the lane!” I don’t know if ESPN is doing the game, but I am sure Mike Tirico will be balls deep in a “Well you can call Jameer Nelson the Lex Luther of this game….because he came out of nowhere and tried to end the world of the Cavaliers!!! WITH KRYPTONITE!!!”
Anyway, I wanted to take this time not to talk about the game, but to compare the movie careers of Lebron James and Shaq. Lebron was the star of this documentary that came out over the summer that talked about him and his friends growing up and playing basketball in Akron. I am not sure what it’s called…I think it’s like “We Play Basketball and Don’t Care Who Wnows: The Lebron James Story” and I haven’t seen this movie, but apparently it is pretty good, and it will be the perfect thing to watch next year after Lebron leaves Cleveland to play basketball in Siberia for $100 million a year. But Shaq did Kazaam. Battle over, Shaq wins.
Hahahahaha! Can you imagine the director of that movie during the rehersal for that scene. He was like “Ok Shaq, you enter stage left wearing your gigantic genie outfit. I want you to put your arms up and say ‘I AM KAZAAM!’, then pause….then enter cheeseburger with absurd amount of ketchup on it….and END SCENE! GOOD JOB PEOPLE, THIS IS GOING TO MAKE US RICH!!!”
Oh my Lord….I just did a little additional research on the movie Kazaam, and apparently the little boy who plays the main character Max in the movie grew up and unfortunately didn’t land any more leading roles. However, he did eventually land back on his feet when he joined the Latin Kings street gang! AHHHHHHHH!!!
I wonder if Shaq and he still keep in touch. I am going to say no. In fact, a restraining order may be in line somewhere there. Actually, I may have just made $100,000 because I think this guy is in the top ten of the FBI’s most wanted list.
Do you guys think it’s weird that I regularly check the FBI’s most wanted list? I don’t know why, but I have this feeling like one day I might see one of these guys walking down the street and that I can take him down Terry Tate style.
For instance, say I’m walking my dog down the street and I see Osama Bin Laden, there are two things I can do. I can pretend like it’s not him like some people do when they get near celebrities, which is what I would usually do. Or….I can lay him out, collect my $250,000 and blog about it. I think I may have just found my dream job!
Alright well that’s all I got for today. I leave you with a haiku.
Kryptonite is dumb.
B-MOC can catch Bin Laden?