Day 282: “The mustache is a lot like Jesse Jackson in the way that it brings people together.”

What’s going on?  How is everyone?  Hope you all had a good weekend.  Mine was pretty good.  I didn’t do too much, but I did dye my mustache with some Just For Men hair coloring stuff, and now I look like Freddie Mercury.

jaws

It’s really pretty amazing how that stuff works!  It took like 5 minutes, and I look like I am 10 years older, which is really insignificant considering I am already 21 and don’t have any certain age to look forward to.  Just For Men is so cool, I will never grow any more facial hair unless I use that.  When I had my beard a couple of months ago, I stood in the mirror and wondered why the hell it was bright red every single day.  Well now that I know about this stuff, I can grow an epic face garden once again.  I could even make it look like Cisqo and dye it completely blonde!

Well it’s hard to believe, but this week is the Ohio State vs. Michigan game in Ann Arbor.  Many of you know that I am a big Michigan fan and I live in Northeast Ohio which sucks when it comes to college football.  Everybody in the country knows how football fans from Northeast Ohio can get when there team is playing.  Like last year for example, I went to a bar near where I lived in Cleveland at the time, and I was wearing my Chad Henne football jersey for the game.  We got to the bar a little early to ensure we got a good spot.  There was another group of some frat boy looking guys who came in right behind us.  Michigan got demolished that game.  In fact it was pretty much over by half time, so I took my jabs from everybody at the bar.  Until Michigan turned the ball over once again late in the 4th quarter, and out of nowhere one of these J. Crew douchers stands up, points at me from a few tables over, and yells “F!@# YOU!”  It was pretty funny though because it was like one of those scenes in a movie when you hear the record scratch in the background because it was completely uncalled for, and everyone just starred at the guy.  He left right after that.

jaws

Well needless to say a lot of people give me a hard time about being a Michigan fan in this area.  A lot of people think that because Jim Tressel graduated from the same high school that I did, and that because he he has a lot of family in this area and that I know very well, that I should be an Ohio State fan.  I played hacky sack with Jim Tressel’s daughter once…..just a little FYI.  She sucked at it, but I wasn’t expecting much anyway.  But I digress……do you know who else graduated from the same high school I did, and who still is in this area?

jaws

His name is Mike Cooper. Nice hoodie Mike........and nice mustache!!!

That’s right…Mike Cooper.  The guy who got caught masturbating in a public library.  Should I be a big fan of his, Ohio State fan?!?!  Does Jim Tressel facebook Mike because they are high school alums, Ohio State fan?!?!?!  Has Jim Tressel performed the old “up down, up down” in a library just like Mike did?!?!?!  NO!!!  Which is why I don’t need to do anything Ohio State related.  I love Michigan because they are the most tradition filled school in the country and in the history of college football.  Most wins ever, biggest stadium, the most classic uniforms in college football, etc, etc.  I predict Ohio State will win this weekend, but I also predict that Michigan’s team this year is head and shoulders better than the team last year, and if you look at the first half of every Michigan game this year, they were winning but just couldn’t finish.  What I’m trying to say is that Michigan has the tools to win this year, I just don’t see it happening.

The starting left guard for OSU, Justin Boren, makes his return for the first time back to the Big House, but this time he is wearing the scarlet and grey.  That’s right!  He transferred from Michigan to OSU last season because “the family values” were erroding, aka a new system came in that wouldn’t let him be a fat slob.  He is, and will be the only player to ever transfer from one of these schools to the other.  You just don’t do that.  It is the same as Luke Skywalker transferring to the Dark Side.  And the thing that made me really mad was that he was full of shit.  He left the school to play for his arch rival, and he mocked the school that gave him a full academic scholarship to play football.

jaws

Here is a picture of Justin Boren last Halloween....when he dressed up as Rich Rodriguez. My problem is you don't leave for the reasons you said you did and then do something like this. Was that playboy bunny disappointed when you whipped out that baby carrot later that night Justin?

And here is a picture of me, dressed up as Justin Boren this Halloween.

jaws

As you can tell I really don’t like Justin Boren.  And to the Ohio State fan, I say you can have him.  What kind of loyalty does a person like that have?  When is he going to jump ship again because he doesn’t like something that’s going on?  In the 4th quarter of the Rose Bowl?  Will it be this week against Michigan?  My point is that I wouldn’t want a guy like that on my team, and I wouldn’t want to play next to him.  He is an unrealiable person who can’t hack it when adversity comes his way.  But it’s ok.  I think OSU has got theirs coming.  Every year those chips somehow find a way to always fall in their favor, until they get their dicks pushed in in a bowl game.  So that is always fun to look forward to.

jaws

O-H!!! D-bags.....

Alright, well that’s all I got for today.  Everyone take it easy, and I’ll talk to you soon.  One Love!

SELAH

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1 Comment

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One response to “Day 282: “The mustache is a lot like Jesse Jackson in the way that it brings people together.”

  1. BuckeyeHonk

    I agree that Michigan is the best around. And that “once Rich Rod gets his system in here” and “once he gets his players in here” and “once that defense comes together, just wait man, we’re gonna be bowl eligible next year!

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