Day 319: “…she saw my combover, her hour glass body, she had problems with drinking milk and being school tardy…”

Merry Christmas Eve, Eve!  How is everybody doing today?  I hope all of your shopping is done, and all of your cookies have been baked, because Christmas is just two days away now.  I love the anticipation in the days leading up to Christmas.  Even though I am an adult I still have an extremely hard time falling asleep the night before Christmas because I can’t wait to see all of the presents and to just lounge around the house Christmas day.  My family and I take part in some unique Christmas traditions.  We like to do a lot of re-enactments.  After we get sloshed on egg nog and Christmas ale, we do a rendition of grandma actually getting run over by a reindeer.  Along with that, we put on performances of the birth of Christ, and the twelve days of christmas.  You would be surprised at how easy it is to find 8 maids a milking.

But what the hell are lords-a-leaping???

I finally got all of my Christmas shopping done in the last few days, and it is always such a relief.  I have a hard time shopping for people because I don’t like to buy gift cards (I feel like it’s a bailout) and I don’t usually ask people what they want.  I like to try and find unique gifts and this year I found some good ones.  My sister is getting the Chinese version of the snuggie.

My Chinese isn't what it used to be, but I think it's called the "Chuggie".

My mom is a big Hillary Clinton fan, and she was pretty upset when she didn’t win the Democratic Party nomination for president.  So, I got her the Hillary Clinton nutcracker doll.  Nothing says Merry Christmas like nutcrackers!

My dad is always the hardest to shop for, but this year I thought it would be nice if I helped him find a new hobby.  That’s why I got him the “Ventriliquism for Dummies” book.

I figured that he can spend hours learning this fine art form, and it really is the gift that keeps on giving.  Please don’t tell them, I want them to be surprised Christmas morning.

Well that’s all I got for today.  I hope everyone has a great Christmas!  I’ll probably make a post Christmas day sometime, but it will most likely just be a Christmas greeting with a funny picture or something.  So I guess I’ll get back into the full swing of things next week.  I leave you with a festive haiku….

Santa’s sack is full
Of Chuggies for boys and girls.
8 maids a milking!

Merry Christmas!!!

One Love!

SELAH

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