Day 338: “Some people have never had to struggle. They will never know what it’s like to work on a farm until their hands are raw, just so people can have fresh marijuana.”

What is up?!?!  It’s Monday, hope it’s going good for you.  I gotta make a quick post today because I have a phone interview this afternoon.  I gotta prepare by figuring out what sweatpants and stained undershirt to put on.  I also like to go through some practice questions that I came up with.  Some of them include , “What is your favorite color?”, “Do you like shiny things?”, “Do you have to let it linger?” and of course, “What are your thoughts on guacamole?”

This guy is ready for his phone interview!

So one of my good friends who moved away about two years ago is coming in today.  He comes home every 6 months or so, but he called me up over the weekend and we decided that we are going to go snowboarding tomorrow.  Believe it or not, I used to tear it up on the slopes when it came to snowboarding.  It has been a few years since I last tried it, so I am nervous about that and I know my ass is going to be sore on Wednesday (that’s what she said), but I am excited.

An old picture of me.

I think it’s pretty funny that the best snowboarder in the world is a ginger.  All the ginger’s I know aren’t good at anything, except for being stupid and smelling really bad of course.  Speaking of snowboarding, the Olympics are coming up in a few weeks.  I am not going to lie, I LOVE watching the Olympics!  The best is when they are in Europe or Asia, because then there is literally something Olympic related on tv at all hours of the day.  Like the last summer Olympics were in Beijing, China.  I could turn on NBC at 4 in the morning and watch women’s power lifting!  That is what planet Earth is all about!

OH YEAH WOMEN'S POWERLIFTING!!! I swear this lady is one of my neighbors!

Of course women’s powerlifting is a summer event, and this year is a winter Olympics.  There are still plenty of awesome events to watch though.  My favorites include Curling (of course), and the Biathlon which is the cross country skiing/rifle shooting mix.  Whoever thought it would be a good idea to combine cross country skiing with using a high powered rifle to shoot targets along the way is alright in my book!  I wonder what other kinds of stuff that guy has come up with?  Probably like chicken wing flavored beer.  Or he was probably the guy who came up with the peanut butter and jelly in the same jar!

I heard the other possible name for Goober was "Instant Erection in a Jar" but that didn't fall through.

Of course, there are some really stupid events that I can’t wrap my head around.  For one, figure skating has got to go.  Who the hell is into that?!?!  Honestly?!?!  And how do they figure out the scoring for that stuff?  It should be, “Did they fall?  No, ok Gold Medal,” and just keep going down the line.  So if you go first, you better not fall because if you don’t, you are guaranteed a Gold Medal!  The second event I cannot get over, is the two man skeleton luge.  Not only is this the most homo-erotic event in the history of all sports…..well basically it just the most homo-erotic event in the history of sports.

"YEAAAHHH!!! I WENT THE FASTEST DOWN THE HILL WHILE LAYING ON TOP OF ANOTHER GROWN MAN WHILE WEARING PAJAMAS WITH BOOTIES!!! YEAHHHHH!!!!"

I mean it wouldn’t bother me so much if both men had a purpose on the sled….but let’s be honest, it takes one guy to steer that thing, the other guy is just along for the ride, while he lays on top of, or underneath of another guy.  I mean, let’s pretend for a moment that both of those guys are straight…you really gotta have  A LOT of respect/trust for your teammate or anybody for that matter, to let them lay on top of you while you guy 100 mph down a ice filled tube.  Basically the two man skeleton is the Brokeback Mountain of Olympic events is what I’m trying to say.

Alright well I gotta go get myself a job!  Wish me luck!  I leave you with a haiku….

Sweatpants, undershirt,
I’m ready for a job now.
“I like shiny things!”

One Love!

SELAH

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Day 338: “Some people have never had to struggle. They will never know what it’s like to work on a farm until their hands are raw, just so people can have fresh marijuana.”

  1. You have a great storie here, truly informative. Very good written I shall be bookmarking your server and subscribing to your feed so i can regularly read stories of this quality.

  2. Just wanted to say this is in my daily read list on #34, Cheers dreckiges hobby

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