Day 361: “You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he is really sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.”

What up?  I’m gonna drop some lyrics on you.

Just like a tree
I’m swaying in the wind.
Watched LOST last night,
said “what up” to Sun and Jin.

Sun and Jin

Gary Busey’s off his rocker
Tuley’s sick, needs a histamine blocker.
Bald eagles getting tired of not having any hair
Bon Jovi just tells them, “keep living on a prayer.”

"Hang in there guys!" - Bon Jovi talking to a crowd of bald eagles.

Is it “take your unemployed child to work day” yet?
Because I’m getting sick of playing bass clarinet.
I’m thinking about getting a pet ferret
And then naming him “Mr. Cockatoo Parrot”.
This damn snow keeps falling on my dome,
Can’t go outside, stay in, do yoga and go “OHHMMM”.

I can do this.

So thankful today that I don’t drive a Toyota
But you know who does?  Young actress Fanning, Dakota.

"I killed a guy by hitting him with my Toyota. Shhh! Don't tell anybody!" - Dakota Fanning

Tiger Woods is just like the potato chips Lays, he “can’t have just one”.
But just like he, I also can’t resist the ladies who work at Cinnabon.
Was pretty disappointed when I didn’t make the case of “The Jersey Shore”,
But I thought to myself, “at least there’s the reserve officer training corps!”
That reminds me, I gotta pick up some cool whip
From my favorite grocer, Old Man Bip.

Bip

Trying to eat a diet that’s high in fiber.
Terminator is married to Maria Shriver?!?!

"I'll be back......with the wedding rings!" Hahaha!

A lot of people don’t know my favorite show is “Roseanne”,
And that my favorite film of all time is “Renaissance Man”.
Both are hilarious, feel good entertainment.
Laugh so hard, I can barely contain it.

There was a girl who wore white six days a week,
Does anyone know the capital of Mozambique?
Zydrunas Ilgauskas is no doubt a first ballot hall of famer,
I cut off the tag on my mattress, despite the disclaimer.
If you ask me, I’d say Betty Boop was a real whore.
I heard she got it on with Porky Pig, you know…the boar?
Off duty mimes never shut the hell up,
But they are great cooks, amazing with measuring cups.

"Add 3 tablespoons of sugar to the tube steak recipe."

How do you end the greatest poem ever written?
How did they end the battle of Britain?
Mr. Hero is prepared fresh for you,
The Native American’s did that with outrigger canoes.

I've been a sucriber to Canoe & Kayak quarterly for 15 years.

I feel like it’s time to bring my bottomless lyrics to a close,
Plus I wanna try to fix this thing called a “radiator hose”?
Check back in tomorrow for another post.
I’m gonna go eat some lunch……leftover pot roast!!!

Peace I’m out.  One Love!

SELAH

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