Day 368: Based on his dimensions alone, “Spongebob Squarepants” should actually be referred to as “Spongebob Rectangularpants”. Once again…television lies to todays youth…..it’s pathetic!

What is up?!?!  I’ve been really busy with the job search the last several days, and I want to catch everyone up to speed.  So as some of you may or may not know, I have been interested in becoming a police officer for over a year now.  In that period I have taken several civil service tests in the Northeast Ohio area.  I did really well on two tests in particular and had moved on to the advanced parts of the hiring process with those particular departments.  Well last week I had a surprise visit from two officers from one of the jurisdictions I applied with.  They wanted to “catch me off guard” and “check out my living arrangement”.  Unfortunately, I did not show them my Barenstein Bears wallpapered room.  However, they did inform me that I am strongly being considered for an opening they have coming up.  Well needless to say, I received a call from the Captain of that particular police department yesterday afternoon, and I have an interview with him this Friday morning.  Wish me luck!

But if you follow the blog on a regular basis, you know what job interviews mean!  That’s right, I got all of my hairs cut today (beard and all) and I look like a dashing young man now.  Needless to say, I am pretty excited about everything that’s been going on the last few days! Officer B-MOC may actually have a nice ring to it….

So I wanted to touch on the red hot Cleveland Cavaliers before the all-star break.  Yeah they are playing great, and yeah Lebron James is the best player ever, and yeah I’m sure the Monstars want to play him in outer space.

Z can guard the big blue Monstar. Do you remember how they came out to that song "Hit em High"?!?!

Well here is the video by Busta Rhyums, Coolio, Method Man, and LL Cool J.  What a squad!

Anyway, I heard the other day that the the Cavaliers organization has removed all of the water fountains at the Q to help prevent the spread of the H1N1 virus.  You know, the disease that Tuley has contracted twice?  Yeah, well because of that pig cold, you can no longer get the most essential element of life anytime you like.  Now you have to go stand in line at the concession stand where you can receive a “small complimentary cup of water”, aka one squirt of water out of a water pistol directly into your mouth.

That is convenient.

Anywho, the Cavs can say that it is to stop the spread of the H1N1 virus, but I have my own theory.  I think it is a test.  That’s right, I think Lebron is testing the Cavs to see exactly what they will do in order to keep him in Cleveland.  I mean, the facts are all there.  It all started out fairly reasonably when Lebron started having say in what players the Cavs kept or acquired.  He had an easy time getting the Cavs to keep Andy and to trade for Shaq.  So, he set his eyes on a bigger prize….getting the water fountains removed from the Q.  Now you have to either drink beer, pop, or a one oz cup of water.  Next thing you know, Lebron will demand to have all of the restrooms removed, only to be replaced with giant community holes in the ground to go to the bathroom.  The Q will instantly become the hardest place to play not only because of the atmosphere, but also because of the rank smell of human excrement that will fill the arena.

The Quicken Loans arena will go from being known as "The Q" to being known as....."The PEW"!!! HAHAHA I just came up with that!

Contract time will roll around, and I can picture Lebron James agreeing to resign with the Cavs, only if they comply with his demands of replacing every doorknob in the Q with solid gold handles that are disinfected every half hour, a hot tub in the locker room filled with Cap’n Crunch, a dome built over the entire state of Ohio because “that Ohio sunlight is whack”, 13 soccer balls, lifetime diplomatic immunity, a 5 year NBA contract for his youngest son, and his signing bonus to be paid in $1 bills.  I can definitely picture Lebron driving a hard bargain, but I’d tip my hat to him for sure if he could get all of those demands met.

I don't know who this Ted guy is, but if he can get a bathtub full of Cherrios, then there is no doubt in my mind that Lebron could get a hot tub full of Cap'n Crunch.

Alright well that’s all I got for today.  I gotta go snow blow the driveway, which for your information I absolutely love doing!  I love it so much, I wrote a haiku about it!

Snow drifts 5 feet high!
Snow blow the shit out of it!
Blizzard…..lick my ass!

One Love!

SELAH

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