Day 375: “I’m a venarial disease like a menstral bleed…” – Lil Wayne

What is going on?!?!  It’s a sad day here on the Employee of the Month blog as the official Lithuanian ambassador to the blog was traded to the Washington Wizards last night.  That’s right, after almost 12 seasons with the Cleveland Cavaliers, Zyndrunas Ilgauskas was traded to the Wizards.  I want to dedicate today’s ending haiku to Z and also  I just want to say that your gigantic, probably crusty toed footprints will always be on my heart, and I love you.  Hopefully you can make your way back to Cleveland shortly, but it won’t be the same until you come home.

Here is Z doing one of his James Bond poses.......he always loved to do that kind of stuff! 😦

In other news, I had a big day yesterday on the job search front.  As you may or may not know already, I have been going through a bunch of “conditional offer” job testing all week.  Yesterday I had my polygraph test in the morning and my ride along in the afternoon.  My polygraph test went well and apparently my results came back saying that I am a “truthful” person which is good.  I like to live by the motto “the truth shall set you free” and I only eat at restaurants that follow the same creed.

My ride along was AWESOME!  I could only spectate for about 4 hours, but a lot of stuff happened in that time.  I don’t want to get into too much detail about what exactly happened for the sake of the people involved, because lets face it the chances of them reading my blog are very very high.  But I will tell you that I witnessed two arrests for domestic violence (one was a creepy looking individual, another was a juvenile kid who decked his sister a couple of times), a car accident (involving a 7 month old infant and a 4 year old kid, and NO they were not the ones driving), and a guy pulled over for reckless driving 50 feet in front of our cruiser (not smart).  We were also supposed to go stake out a house of a jury member who was on a aggravated murder case and was being filmed and having pictures taken of them by the defendants family outside of the court room.  I didn’t have time to stick around for that but hopefully everything turned out ok.

Note: not one of the parties involved in the car accident yesterday.

Before we left the station, the Sergeant on duty instructed the officer I was with to not get involved in any pursuits, and that if there were “shots fired” that I should stay in the car.  Hahaha, looking back on what he said that was pretty funny.  Although I haven’t gone through the police academy yet I feel like I have watched “Die Hard” and “Kindergarten Cop” enough times that I could have very easily taken the shotgun out of the car and poured it on some scumbags.

Best cop movies EVER! "WHO IS YOUR DADDY AND WHAT DOES HE DO?"

Anyway, we were flying around in the cruiser and I was watching some punks get arrested and the whole time I was trying so hard not to smile because I was having so much fun.  I think this will be a good fit for me if everything works out ok.  The first guy I saw got arrested…I am pretty sure he looked at me and saw a smile creeping over my face and he looked like he was getting pissed, but I couldn’t help it, hahaha!

Tomorrow I have my physical and stress test, and my drug test results should be back on Monday and as long as my heart doesn’t explode tomorrow, or it turns out I have a raging addiction to children’s Tylenol then this is going to happen!  I am going to have a job!  It’s pretty crazy huh?  Well we will wait until next week to count our chickens, but I am getting excited.

In other news, I went to my free bowling practice again this morning along with my elderly best friends.  I now refer to our little click as “the Breakfast Club”.  Anywho, today I had to bowl with these other two guys named Cameron and Ernie, and of course their combined age was better than a perfect game in bowling if you catch my drift.  But Cameron was a kick ass bowler with a wicked lazy eye and he started coaching me a little bit and before you know it I was like Roy Munson and pounding the pocket all morning long (that’s what he said?).  Well…..I am pretty sure Cameron was giving me pointers, but it may have been a bowler 10 lanes down because his lazy eye was epic.  Needless to say I am looking forward to ending my consecutive weeks of crappy bowling tonight and bowling at least 2 300 games.  Thanks for your help Cameron!

Cameron showed me this picture of him when he was in the Navy.

Alright well I gotta go.  Tomorrow is Friday and that’s neat!  I leave you with a haiku about everybody’s favorite gigantic eastern European ever.  This one’s for you Z!

Best center ever,
“Wanna buy some DVD’s?”
Z, please come back soon!

One Love!

SELAH

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