Day 381: What’s the difference between a cop’s nightstick and a magicians wand? A magicians wand is for cunning stunts….

HEEYYOOOO!  How is everyone doing today?  I don’t really have a lot to talk about today, but I did want to check in.  So don’t be upset if today’s post really “Hillary Duff’s”.  In case you don’t know what I mean by that, apparently Hillary Duff’s professional hockey player boyfriend got her a $1 million dollar engagement ring….

He went to Jared's!!!

Then she proceeded to do the girl thing and send a picture of it to all of her friends…..

"OMG! Look at my ring! TTYL!"

Then she showed her appreciation by blowing her new fiance.

"Really really want a blowjob fast??? We've got a ring for that!"

Fantastic!  It truly was a magical outcome for both parties involved and on behalf of all of the blog readers out there, I want to extend a big congratulations to the happy couple and all of their future facials together!  It’s nice to see that true love can still be out there for some!

Hahaha, I don’t know if the story or the pictures are true, but I definitely think the “Paparazzi of the Year Award” has been claimed only 2 months into 2010.  Seeing stuff like this makes me so happy I am not a celebrity.  Seriously…WHERE THE HELL WAS THIS GUY HIDING AT?  You can see leaves and stuff in some of the pictures which makes me believe he dressed up like a plant or a tree and then just sat there for like 5 days straight waiting to get some good stuff.  I guess it paid off for him, and it looks like Lizzie McGuire has graduated to a more sophisticated type of acting which is most commonly referred to as “soft core porn”.

In sports news, the Cleveland Indians started spring training this week, and as I type this there are 40 days until opening day!  No one is really expecting much from this year’s club as we traded away all of our good players last year and have a good mix of really young, inexperienced players along with past their prime, veteran/mentor type guys.  I’m not going to make any predictions right now (maybe closer to opening day), but I just wanted to remind everybody that the start of spring training means that…..FANNY PACK SEASON IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER!!!!!

You better start getting your fanny pack body workouts started now.  I had a ninja turtle fanny pack when I was a young lad and that thing was awesome.  I used to be able to put so much stuff in there….it is a shame that the fanny pack never made it big.  I mean it was definitely practical in its function, the fashion police just never gave it a chance.  I think one reason for it’s demise is that women sounded funny/inappropriate when they would say “I am going to stick that in my fanny pack” because everyone thought they were referring to anal sex.  People like Rosie O’Donnell and Hillary Clinton jumped all over the anti-fanny pack movement and before you knew it, they were nonexistent.  It really is sad…

Not a real fanny pack.

So yesterday I signed all of my paper work and had my orientation for becoming a city employee.  That went really well, and afterward I met with the mayor who seemed like a real cool guy.  Now I just wait until I get sworn in on Monday morning and we can get the ball rolling on the new job.  I have been trying to figure out what to do with the number system I use on all of my posts.  For example, today’s post was “Day 381” because it has been 381 days since I got laid off.  I am thinking that on Monday I should start the countdown over at 1, or maybe I will just get rid of the numbered days all together.  If any of you guys have any ideas, feel free to leave them in the comment section.

That’s all I got for today.  I will talk to you all later, and I leave you with a haiku….

“Will you marry me?
I really want a BJ.”
Fanny pack is back???

One Love!

SELAH

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1 Comment

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One response to “Day 381: What’s the difference between a cop’s nightstick and a magicians wand? A magicians wand is for cunning stunts….

  1. fuck USA

    fuck you usa fagggots, no wonder everyone hates your pathetic country… “trying to be like america” my ass. who would wanna be like you ever! We dont ever have to deal with war shit unless you faggots go, which is fucking gay. sick of you fucking arrognt pieces of shit talkin shit. fuck off n grow up.

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