Day 14: “I like to say that 90% of all hunting accidents are caused by RICK.”

Hello, my name is B-MOC and I am HIV negative.  What is up everybody???  I don’t usually make posts on the weekends but I have been so busy lately that I figured I would take some time on the holy day of rest to drop some knowledge on you!  I was watching that movie “The Breakfast Club” yesterday and I’ll tell you what…Molly Ringwald was really giving me a chub!  She was quite a looker back in the day, and I am surprised at how turned on I was getting watching her considering how much I despise gingers.  She actually was not that stupid and it appeared that she did indeed have a soul.

Hot ginger = oxymoron?

In sports new, the Cleveland Browns just traded Brady Quinn to the Denver Broncos for running back Peyton Hillis and two future picks.  I’m glad to see that Mike Holmgren did not have a man crush on Brady Quinn like I do, and was able to trade him.  I know he drives ladies crazy and makes some guys jealous, but he is not a good NFL quarterback right now.  He isn’t very accurate and is afraid to go downfield, but my god his eyes are sooooo dreamy!  I did some due diligence on this Patrick Hillis guy, and apparently he is a 6’2″, 250 lbs running back who rushed for 54 yards last year.  Oh yeah, I almost forgot…he is white and he is also my new favorite player on the Browns.  You gotta love a running back who is 250 lbs and runs a 6.4 40 yard dash.  This is the kind of guy you want to see get the number 00 or 69 or something, and I wouldn’t be surprised if pictures of this guy pounding beers on West 6th after a game surfaced next year.  Patrick Hillis….I salute you and your mild obesity!

I salute you right back Mr. Hillis! Welcome to Cleveland!

In all honesty, that guy looks like a “brick shit house” and I wouldn’t mess with him at all.  I definitely wouldn’t want to try and tackle him, that’s for sure.  YOU CAN’T BUY ME HOT DOG MAN!!!

I want to extend a big “go fist yourself” to that UPS guy who does the commercials where he draws stupid stuff on a white board and rambles on about bullshit.  I just want the big wigs at UPS to know that after seeing those commercials, I would rather walk my package to its destination then use your company, JUST because of that d-bag.  I hope you are happy.

"errrr China, USA, international shipping..errrr" SHUT UP! Go fist yourself!

In police academy news, things are going good and the first week is officially in the books.  My knee is getting better, and this week we start subject control aka learning how to “straighten out” people who are resisting arrest.  That should be fun, and I am hoping that I get to learn a couple of crazy kung fu pressure point moves that can make a Peyton Hillis sized guy cry.

"You'll know the maneuver is working when you hear the arm snap, and the subject immediately shits his pants."

Alright well that’s all I got for now.  I’ll talk to you all soon, and I leave you with a haiku.

See ya Brady Quinn
Your abs were immaculate
Ginger boner time!

One Love!

SELAH

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