Day 24: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the ball sack.”

What is up, WHAT is up???  How is everybody doing today?  It’s been gorgeous out all day, the sun has been shining, the birds have been singing, my bipolar neighbor has been able to keep his dong in his pants for at least 24 hours, and things are good!

My favorite NBA player of all time makes his return to the Cavaliers tonight, and no I am not talking about Bryant “Big Country” Reeves,

My second favorite player of all time.

I am talking about ZYDRUNAS ILGAUSKAS!!!  I found some footage from the 1996 NBA draft when Big Z was drafted, this is some good stuff right here!

Z was the 20th pick that year and the second pick in the first round for the Cavs.  I was looking back on that draft and I didn’t realize how stacked it was.  The first overall pick was Allen Iverson.  Other notable first round selections include Ray Allen aka Jesus Shuttlesworth, Kobe Bryant, Steve Nash, and of course Efthimios Rentzias. While I was researching this draft, I came across something that really chapped my ass.  You see, the Cavs had two first round picks that year, and with their first pick, which was the 12th overall pick, they took Vitaly Potapenko.  Do you know who was selected with the 13th pick by the Charlotte Hornets?  I’ll give you a hint…..he has a “rapists wit”.  Give up?  It was Kobe Bryant.  That’s right……KOBE, FREAKING, BRYANT!  The Cleveland Cavaliers passed up Kobe Bryant to select Vitaly Potapenko……..are you f-ing kidding me??? I know this is hindsight, and yes I saw the movie “The Butterfly Effect” so I know that if we drafted him in 1996 then we probably wouldn’t have gotten Lebron in 2003.  But the way I look at it, if the Cavs draft Kobe that year at #12, and then take Zydrunas at #20, you basically have the same dominant duo that Kobe had with Shaq a few years ago when they won 3 NBA championships in a row.  Z in his prime was just as dominant as Shaq if you ask me, and I believe that if he had a guy like Kobe to compliment his dominant style, then he never would have had all of those foot problems so many years ago.  That was something I had never heard or realized before.  I sometimes think that the city may be cursed (although I don’t rest my hat on that very much), but that draft is pretty astounding if you ask me.  Anyway, it is what it is, and I want to welcome Big Z back to the Cavs!  I love you man!

Look at that face!

In academy news, I am almost through my first month.  We have been in the classroom a lot, but we have also been hitting the “ninja class” a lot too.  My ninja class teaches me like different arm bars, pressure points, and crazy flips and hip tosses and stuff.

It’s pretty cool because they really stress that we practice our moves on our own time.  So needless to say I have been practicing a lot on my little sister, and basically anyone else I see.  This reminds me of when I was a little kid in elementary school and one of my friends joined a karate class and only went like one time.  Well when he came to school the next day he was showing everyone what he could do and it was just basically the “wax on, wax off” thing from the karate kid.  He never went to another class after that one…..but this is different than that.

So I have a gun now, and I need to come up with a good name for it.  I like to name inanimate objects that are important to me.  For instance, I have a pillow named Jake, a fork named Norman, and now I want your help in naming my new side arm.  I want to go with a woman’s name because I think that would be sexy, just like my gun,  However, if you can come up with a good guys name then feel free to post it in the comments section.  Alright, the polls are open, give me your feedback!

Alright well I’m gonna get going.  I leave you with a haiku….

Vitaliy……..really?
“Kobe can’t do without Z!!!”
Z loves March Stachness!

One Love!

SELAH

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