Day 36: “Do aliens call their spaceships F.O.’s since they already know what they are?”

HOLLER!!!  What is upppp?!?!  It’s been a little while but I just wanted to check in and spit some game at all of you.  Today’s music video is one of my new favorite bands, Japandroids.  I have featured them on here before, but tomorrow they are playing live at the Grog Shop and yours truly will be attending and I will be rocking out….HARD!  As many of you already know, I have been a part time member of a band named The Icy Mikes with Dan from Ypsilanti for quite some time now.  However, I have been developing some side projects that you all need to keep an eye out for.  I am currently the front man, and only member of my death metal band, “Demon Barf”.  I also want to start a gangster rap/folk music band called “The Kansas City Queefs”.  I am looking for experienced, and serious band mates so if you are interested, leave me a message on the Interweb!

Speaking of music videos…I found a really good one the other day about 99 names for boobs.  It features Jennifer Love Hewitt and it is hilarious, and it is RIGHT HERE!

Hahaha!  I never heard boobs referred to as “Elmer Fudd’s” or “The Hardy Boys” before, but you better believe I will start calling them that, like 5 minutes ago.

I have been in the police academy for one month now, and things are going good.  A lot of people have been asking me what the first thing I am going to do as a police officer is….actually no one has asked me that, but I know exactly what it is going to be.  I am going to find the first Lance Armstrong wannabe I see, and I am going to pull him over for speeding and for failing to control his vehicle.  Since all of these guys are pricks, I am sure he is going to go all Joe Biden on me and tell me to get “f!@#%&” and try to hit me, at which point I will shoot him or her with my taser, and add an additional charge of assault on a police officer…after I tase them one more time.

You are mine bitches....you better peddle fast!

Tuley recently went on a bender to Phoenix, AZ and was fortunate enough to attend a Cleveland Indians spring training game.  He was kind enough to make his way directly under the WTAM broadcast booth and scream my name at the top of his lungs.  At the time, I was laying in bed listening to the game like I was a kid in the 1920’s, and it made my night!  Thank you for that Tuley, and I am sorry you couldn’t land a spot in the Tribe’s bullpen after your trip.  Maybe next year.

In other news, I have been creating an alter ego for when I am feeling “frisky” or feel like getting into a little bit of mischief.  I came up with the name Dr. Eugene Martini.  I just thought I would share that with you, and if you are ever fortunate enough to run into Dr. Martini you better watch out, because he is definitely going to paint the town white.

Eugene Levy (he is NOT Dr. Eugene Martini).

Alright well that’s all I got for today.  I’m gonna go enjoy this beautiful weather and pretend like I am clocking people with a radar gun that is actually going to be a hair dryer.  I leave you with a haiku….

Joe Biden says “f!@#”,
Dr. Martini loves boobs,
Bikers going down!

One Love!

SELAH

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1 Comment

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One response to “Day 36: “Do aliens call their spaceships F.O.’s since they already know what they are?”

  1. Dan

    Actually, the main reason I moved to Michigan was to focus on writing songs for our next album, which should be a four-disc set featuring close to 40-50 songs. I’ve been living among the homeless in Detroit in hopes of inspiration. And in case you were wondering, I’m at the library right now. Free Internet, bitch.

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