HEYYYOOOOOOOO!!!! My blog is starting to become like a menstrual cycle where I only post like once a month…..at least that is what it seems like. I guess it is more like once or twice a week so that comment was entirely inappropriate. Anyway, it is a great time of the year right now and I am excited about living so I thought I’d drop in and speak some knowledge at you.
Monday was the home opener for my Cleveland Indians, and unfortunately this year I was unable to attend. I was really bummed but I had a good excuse not to be there and I will definitely be in attendance next year. The EOTM correspondent Tuley was in attendance however, and although the Tribe lost in extra innings, a good time was had by all and I wouldn’t have expected anything different. He was kind enough to send me some pictures from the day. Let’s have a look see!
"WOOOOO, BRING BACK ERIC WEDGE!!!! WOOOO!!!!"
"Who won???"
Thanks Tuley! Dynamite reporting! But seriously, I am a die hard Indians fan and they are doing great so far if their long term goal is to suck complete ass. After they cleaned house last year my expectations for this season really went downhill, but I think the first week of this year will really be a precursor for the entire 2010 schedule. They are a very young team who will be exciting to watch, but when it comes to crunch time, they aren’t going to have the experience for talent to pull out a big win. That’s ok with me though…..the organization is practically handing out tickets now (if you buy a $5 footlong sub at Subway, you get a $5 off an Indians ticket?!?!?!) and if you ask me, there is nothing like chilling in the cheap seats with a bear and some nachos in the middle of the summer. So I will still go to my usual 12 or so games this year and hope for the best! Besides, I am not even allowed in Mexico.
Also, Jhonny Peralta is absolutely horrific at baseball and needs to go somewhere not near me immediately. He also looks like he has gained a significant amount of weight in his face, and he looks exactly like this chubby baby I found on a Google image search.
Can you spot the major league 3rd baseman for the Cleveland Indians? No? Right...either can I.
So in police academy news, I had a class last week about “crisis intervention” and dealing with rape victims. My instructor went through a bunch of false assumptions about rape, like for instance, it isn’t really rape but just “surprise sex”. But the one analogy that I will never forget is that rape “isn’t real because it is impossible to thread a moving needle.” It kind of made me laugh which made me feel horrible because rape is no laughing matter, but for some reason I just pictured like a cartoon thread with arms and legs chasing after a needle with some caption like “I’M GONNA THREAD YOU MOTHER F!@#-ER!!! GET BACK HERE!!!!” It was kind of weird but I will always remember that saying.
I feel like my thoughts can best be described in this really poor cartoon I found online.
Alright well I am gonna get going. I am gonna go wear my uniform and look at myself in the mirror and tell myself to “stop or my mom will shoot”.
Now on DVD!
I leave you with a haiku…..
Golden Girls are dumb,
Chubby baby plays third base,
“Dead ass Reese cups.”
One Love!
SELAH
Employee of the Month 