Hiiiiiiiiiiii. So as I am writing this I am getting word that the U.S. Government is going to be banning the newly popular “Four Loko” alcoholic beverage. Now I have never personally tasted a “Four Loko” but I have heard stories about it and I have heard it referred to as “The Devil’s Cum Shot” and “black out in a can” on more than one occasion.
Apparently one “Four Loko” has equivalent to 4 beers and like 3 cups of coffee in it….where I come from that is called a good time. Not exactly sure why Uncle Sam feels its necessary to get this stuff off of the shelfs…I mean some people have reported having a heart attack immediately after taking one sip of the stuff….but I mean COME ON! This is not Nazi Germany! I’m talking to you Senators!!! You make this right you hear me?!?! Of course, a quick search of “Four Loko” on youtube brings up a plethera of videos featuring the “black out in a can”. However, I closer look reveals a rap video about the song……enjoy!
Best song of 2010 hands down!!! “Wuurrrr’d you get it at? I bought it at the corner store!!! How much? 3 dollars is what came to my total!!!” I am currently turning this song into a ringtone that you will be able to download from the blog. It will only cost $50 to download but you can feel free to pirate the hell out of that shit. “I’M GOING LOKO FOR THAT LOKO!!!!!” Hahahahaha!
Here is two more videos I found of “Four Loko Lindsey”. The first video is a “before” video…..
And the second video is an “after” video….
“Shut up Four Loko Lindsey! You wanna walk?!?!”
I really feel like I need to try one of these before they go all Kaiser Soze. You know what….us Clevelanders should come up with a drink that combines are own pride and joy, Great Lakes Christmas Ale, and Four Loko! Like drop a shot of Four Loko into a 32 oz Christmas Ale and chug it. You gotta come up with a good name for it though. I was thinking something like “On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me explosive diarrhea and excessive vomitting with traces of blood in it.” Or something like “Santa’s taint sweat”, hahaha! Could you imagine being at a bar during the holiday season and ordering a round for your dudes of “Santa’s taint sweat”?!?!?! Hahahahahaha!
Alright I’m getting out for now. I really gotta take a shower, my arm pits are killing me right now. A haiku……
Stay sick together,
I’m loko for Four Loko