Day 305: “Glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts…it stays with you forever.”

What up sucka’s?!?!  I hope you guys had a Merry Christmas and I wish you the best in 2011.  This is going to be my last post for the year 2010.  The week between Christmas and New Years is always a weird week for me.  I am always looking for signs and shit like that.  You know what I mean?  Like stupid stuff too….like I have been sick for the last couple of days and I think to myself “that sickness is really all of the bad parts of 2010 trying to leave your body before the new year!”  That’s the gayest shit I ever heard.  I never knew this until a couple of years ago but apparently there are a bunch of superstitions that people practice  on New Year’s Eve to bring in good luck.  Like the one I know of is that its bad luck to eat chicken on New Years day.  I don’t really believe in superstitions and witchcraft, I believe that you make your own luck.  But I’ll tell you what, two years ago I ate chicken on New Year’s Day and it led to the worst year of my life.  All within like a 90 day period my girlfriend broke up with me, I got laid off from my job, and we had to put my dog to sleep.  The breakup and the job thing were bad, but putting my dog to sleep was a giant kick to the balls from Andre the Giant.  Never again will I eat chicken on New Years day.  According to scopes.com, another New Year’s day superstition is that the first person through your door in the new year should be tall, dark haired, and handsome and should bring a present like some salt.  Well sorry folks, but I am going to Chicago to bring in 2011 so I won’t be able to do that…..ZING!!!  Who the hell thinks salt is a present?!?!  If I ever got salt as I present I would throw it in the persons face like those mexican wrestlers do all the time.  GET THAT CORN OUT OF MY FACE!!!

So speaking of Chicago, I have never been but am really excited about the trip.  I really wanna go to the Sears Tower while I am there.  I don’t know why but I have a thing for sky skrapers.  Maybe it’s because they look like giant boners and that makes me laugh.  Anyway, I was looking into how I could get to the top of the building just to see how the view was.  Well apparently they made this whole attraction out of the top floor and they have these glass boxes that stick out from the building like 4 feet!

FUCK THAT NOISE!!!

 Thats some crazy stuff right there!  It would be scary but I would definitely do it.  In fact I would wait until there was a bunch of people on there and start jumping up and down while yelling “EARTHQUAKE TEST!!!”  They say those things can handle like 5 tons of weight, either way I would start freaking out if someone was on that thing with me and they started jumping up and down.

Thats wild!

So I was watching tv the other night and this movie came on and I am not sure what it was but I have been thinking about it ever since and I felt like I should share it with all of you to see if any of you know what it is?  I’m pretty sure it’s a documentary about the history of gingers.  The main character was a ginger and everyone made fun of him and his only friends were blind people…..pretty much the day to day of a regular ginger.  Anyway, it was the funniest movie I have ever seen but I just don’t know what the name of it is.  I did find this picture of it online, someone please help me figure out what it is.

Disgusting...

No matter what 2011 has in store for me, my hatred of gingers will remain the same.  Alright guys thats all I got for today and for 2010.  I hope you guys all have a great new years and I will see you on the other side!  One last haiku for 2010…..

Balls drop Friday night,
Mine dropped 13 years ago.
Happy New Year Chums!

One Love!

SELAH

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