“You know the saying….a girl can’t stay hot forever, but she can stay crazy forever…”

Hello my readers from other breeders!!!  Hahaha I just came up with that one!  Hope all is well out there in the interwebs.  I stumbled upon this gem of a quote I used for my post title a couple of weeks back and I thought it fit in perfect with this fantastic song by Vancouver’s own Japandroids titled “Crazy/Forever”.  For only being a 2 man band, those goofy Canadians sure can bring the rock pretty hard.

I’ve been grinning ear to ear since I made my return to the blogging game last Saturday.  In a way, I kind of felt like Lebron when he announced he was coming back to Cleveland.  I knew deep down in the bottom of my heart that it was a move I wanted to make a long time ago.  Then when the timing was just right, BOO BAM!  Can I just say how friggin awesome that was when Lebron announced he was coming back to the CLE?!  It’s one of those things I dont know if I’ll ever forget.  And I know that might sound stupid to a lot of people, but I think that is what makes Clevelanders so great!  This is one of the hottest cities in the entire world right now and everyone wants a piece of it!  I never thought I’d ever say that!  But here I am sitting in my underwear blogging to you from the epicenter of the entire universe.  Cleveland fucking Ohio!  I mean I felt like I get back into the game when my city is at it’s peak!

I mean the last year has really seemed like such a whirlwind with all of the cool shit happening at the “Mistake by the M-Lake” aka Cleveland.  I mean, we just had our first Comic Con!  You know you’re a cool city when nerds from every corner of the Earth come to your city to dress up like super heroes and not get an atomic wedgie because of it.  WE JUST FUCKING DID THAT CLEVELAND!!!

THESE 2 WERE TOTALLY READY FOR COMIC CON CLEVELAND!!!  STRAIGHT OUTTA PAINESVILLE!!!

Next year, Cleveland is hosting the Republican National Convention.  Every 4 years, cities all over the country fight and claw to get the opportunity to host a party convention.  What a strategic move by the GOP!  Choosing a city that has been primarily a democratic region in one of the biggest swing states year in and year out!  But more importantly…think of all the strippers and hookers that are going to here then!!!  That will be worth the trip alone!  Strippers and hookers for as far as the eye can see!  Early estimates have the income from the sex industry alone will top $9 billion dollars that week.  Johnny Manziel’s definitely getting arrested that weekend!

“WELCOME TO CLEVELAND MR. JEB BUSH! HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN A CLEVELAND STEAMER FROM A CLASSY LADY BEFORE? WANT ONEEEE?  I’LL MAKE YOU THE MAYOR OF TITTY CITY IF YOU WANT!”

Cleveland really flexed it’s cultural muscle last summer when it was the host of the 9th ever Gay Games.  It joined the company of some of the greatest cities in the world including Paris, Chicago, Amsterdam, and New York by becoming a host city for homosexual athletes from all over the world.  I mean how many other cities can say they’ve hosted the international Gay Games, AND a Republican National Convention before?  I mean, I feel like a lot of heads would ‘splode down south if they hosted any type of gay game, but maybe I’m wrong.   Either way I think it’s pretty impressive that my city can pull off such a feat!

Pictured above: Blyman and Garfunkel stole the show in the ice dancing competition at the 2014 Gay Games hosted in the city of Cleveland, OH. Their famous routine “Eww eww, there’s a spider, kill it” gave them a perfect score of 10.

And as far as the food and beverage scene goes….well let’s just say it’s been business as usual here in the CLE!  Michael Symon will be opening his 900th restaurant downtown tomorrow, and it seems like a new brewery is popping up on every street corner around this place!  It seems like every other day, some pedestrian is getting hit by a food truck speeding to the next hot spot downtown.  I’m not complaining!  I love to eat and I certainly love to drink.  The best part is that you need to refinance your house to eat or go out for a drink at most of these places!  That’s called class haters!  Get used to it, cause Cleveland ain’t going nowhere!

This March, Michael Symon opens his 900th restaurant called “Gordita-Lita” in the heart of E. 3rd street (we ran out of room on E. 4th). Be sure to try his signature “Hotdog-pus and shells and cheese” for $49.99.

Yummmm!!!  Can’t wait!  In all seriousness though, I’ve been back in Cleveland for about 3 years now and it truly is better than I can ever remember it, and I spent the first 25 years of my life here.  It’s simple, but genuine.  It’s blue collar, but relaxed.  But more importantly, it’s fun and now I feel like a lot of people that arent from Ohio are realizing that.  That makes me happy.  Hopefully we can show them all a nice time while they’re passing through.  More importantly, hopefully we can keep this momentum going and keep this place special for a long time to come.

This reminds me of those old Motel 6 commercials where that creepy guy would say, “Motel 6…we’ll leave the light on for ya.”  Well I am giving this one to all of those Cleveland marketing companies out there!  YOU’RE WELCOME!

jaws

Alright, that’s all I got for tonight.  I’m house sitting for the next 8 days so I’ll try to post a few times if possible but no promises.  Your boi will have a lot of running around to do but I’ll be thinking of ya!  Hope you all have a nice weekend, dont forget to move your clocks ahead an hour on Saturday night, and change those God damn batteries in your smoke alarms for crying out loud.  I leave you all with a haiku…

Grover Cleveland’s proud
His city, is the titties
Still cold as balls though…

One Love!

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